Types of anger and how we express them

From personal experience I can name a number of ways I have expressed anger.  I like to think of myself as a fairly calm, adaptable and laid back person, but my anger can range from the extreme anger where I feel totally out of control, to ranting to my friends, waking up in the middle of the night ranting in my head or just simple irritation with my children.  How much of this is ‘normal’? Is any of this causing me problems? Why does it matter?

Anger can be seen on a scale – from out of control, red mist rage, to minor irritation.  In fact there is a Clinical anger Scale (Snell, 1995) which is used to measure anger. Anger is a problem when it hurts you or people around you. It isn’t the anger that’s the problem, it’s how you deal with it.  This is when it comes down to the kind of reaction you have – how the anger is expressed or kept inside.

It seems we tend to view anger as a ‘bad’ emotion – one we shouldn’t feel or worse still, shouldn’t express. It may be because we don’t like to lose control, or that ‘nice’ people don’t get angry, that we may be disapproved of, or for many other reasons.

Obviously anger outbursts which are physical in any way either to yourself, others or something physical (like the wall) do need attention, but just as damaging is the kind of anger which we contain and try to ignore.  This is the kind of anger which causes you to rant to your friends about the unfairness of it and your negative feelings towards those involved in the argument with you.  Its also the anger which wakes you up in the middle of the night whilst your head rants on “….and another thing…..” whilst you play put the conversation the way you would like but in reality feel you can’t.

Also on the anger scale is frustration.  This is unspoken anger and can in turn lead to maliciousness, resentment or vengeful feelings.  Most commonly this is on a minor scale – for example your partner didn’t put the bin out, so you don’t make him a cup of coffee when you get one for yourself etc.  This can grow over time if we don’t take steps to address it.

Ultimately why does any of this matter? In recognising your anger, how you express it – or don’t express it, allows you to self-reflect on your actions and emotions.  This helps you to recognise situations and people which cause you stress, feelings of anger, injustice, powerlessness and so on.  Once recognised, you can actually begin to do something about it.

Additionally It is now recognised that unresolved anger can lead to physical health problems including high blood pressure, heart attacks, depression, digestive problems and cold and flu (NHS), so the more you can process your anger and not supress it, the better the outcome for your physical health.

 

References

NHS (2011) How to control your anger.  Available online: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/controlling-anger.aspx

Snell, W (1995) The clinical anger scale.  Available at: http://www4.semo.edu/snell/scales/CAS.htm