How I deal with worrying

There are times in my life where I think I have been the Queen of worrying….  Worrying about finishing my University work, worrying about the future, worrying about my kids, worrying about money – and on the list goes.

I worry that I will let people down – not be good enough at my job, not be a good enough mum, not provide for my family, not be a good partner, forget something important and do something which alters my life for the worse and I can’t change it… It’s a fear of failure for me. Dont get me wrong - it took me some years (and a lot of self-reflection during my training as a homeopath) to realise this.

However I have learnt coping strategies to deal with this beast now – I prepare like there is no tomorrow. I spent hours putting together what I need, checking and rechecking it’s all there.  If it’s for a presentation I practice it so I know what order it flows in.  I am lucky that I don’t suffer badly with a fear of public speaking, so generally I can fly by the seat of my pants if I need to.

However I do have high standards for myself – it’s not being the best out of everyone, its being the best I can be. This sometimes can be my undoing as I then worry that I haven’t done enough – this keeps me awake at night, makes me feel stressed and anxious and back round we go… The vicious cycle sets in and it just feels worse and worse.

The thing I have come to realise is that although it seems overwhelming and unmanageable at the time, it tends to be a short lived (i.e. weeks not years) thing.  I have learnt to try to keep perspective and although I can still wind myself up about it, I have got better about it.

I feel very fortunate to have a few very close friends who I can talk openly to – they listen, make me coffee, give me tissues and a hug.  I feel better for being able to bring my worries into the light – they get smaller and more manageable. It allows me to see ways that I can get some control back, take responsibility over the bits I can change and put into perspective the bits I have no control over.

I actually have on my wall above my desk the first few lines of the serenity prayer – I say it to myself when I find myself getting back into the anxiety/fear of failure cycle… It’s on the bottom of the newsletter and I thoroughly recommend using it!

I know that there are times I just have to be brave - to face what I am worried and scared of (like my previous fear of the dentist) and times to just stay in the moment and wait it out....